biting my tongue about someone posting about blue archive in an annoying way because I Know

skull-servant:

balaclava-trismegistus:

kineticpenguin:

You know, it’s very funny that the right-wing had a fat bug up its ass about “virtue signalling” when they can’t stop doing shit like this

It’s like: yes, thank you. you have expensive kit and an agreeable muscle-to-fat ratio and you have the same opinion most other people have. thank you for signalling your virtue to us. We know that you are a good american boy. Liked shared and subscribed.

You have signaled your virtues and the signal has been received loud and clear, thank you. You really want us to know you’re ready to hurt bad people.

except. I gotta say.

why did you go to all that effort only to wear these fuckin little boy shoes

Magpul PMAG is about 2.5" across. Measuring the pixel count in this, front to back on the showing side of the pmag is about 32 pixels. That means each inch is 12.8 pixels. Measuring from between his feet to the point in the helmet where his head would stop, using the position of his night vision as a reference, this man’s height is 849 pixels. Divide 849 by 12.8 and you get 66.32". This man is Five feet, Six inches tall.

(via yeah-yeah-beebiss-1)

midiport:

(via someoneonthewayside)

bermuda-n-drangle:

nightingalesoul:

chaumas-deactivated20230115:

notwiselybuttoowell:

triviallytrue:

ghostpalmtechnique:

triviallytrue:

max1461:

triviallytrue:

friendshapedhole:

triviallytrue:

huffylemon:

aren’t gorillas gentle giants or something. i stay out of his way, he doesn’t maul me, we have a nice time picking out clothes together in opposite sides of the mall

Male gorillas are super aggressive and territorial. Also they interpret nearly every human mannerism as a sign of aggression or a challenge. Smiling and eye contact are both things that zookeepers have to be taught to suppress when they’re in the vicinity of gorillas.

Well unless the mall is his native territory I think I’m fine, I wasn’t planning on smiling at him

This is all irrelevant because the obvious answer is five black mambas. I mean, that’s not actually very many snakes, and malls are fucking huge. And unlike a gorilla you can definitely outrun a snake if it does show up. Find an open space in the mall where you can see any snake coming and just hangout out there. Fucking easy.

Misguided! I would much rather have a mallmate I can easily see and hear coming. I’m confident I can stay out of the gorilla’s way, but if I step on a snake or one otherwise gets the jump on me, it’s all over.

It’s not just about the physical danger either, it’s about my mental health. One gorilla, unless he’s actively mad at me, I just keep a healthy distance between us and make sure I never get trapped. With the snakes, it requires a lot more constant vigilance

They should substitute “chimpanzee” for “gorilla” in this hypothetical.

if it was a chimp i’m taking the fucking snakes

Black mambas have a reputation build on being very venomous and very fast. I’m not sure why you would think you could outrun one (or five) in an enclosed space like a mall.

Malls usually have pretty slick floors, and escalators. I’d choose the gorilla simply because I think that would make an more interesting story (and a better-selling autobiography, I Survived the Mall Gorilla) but I think I’d stand a pretty good chance at avoiding the mamba. They’re fast and aggressive and will chase you but unless we started immediately beside each other I think my sneakers would have the terrain advantage over scutes.

this is too good to leave hidden in the replies

fucking enamored with the implication that this gorilla is fully intelligent but is trying to manufacture plausible deniability like the movie barnyard

(via roboticoperatingbud)

sasha-psychedelia:

The Provably Worst Gun for Home Defense

What is provably the WORST gun for home defense? A .22 single shot rifle is at least small and quick to point. A Barrett M82 is at least going to instantly stop whatever it hits. Even a good old fashioned musket is going to do good damage and won’t hurt your ears. No, I wanted to know what the undisputable worst home defense gun in the world is; and I have found it.

This is the .950 JDJ Fat Mac. It is a 100 pound, 5 foot long rifle that shoots a one pound solid brass bullet at 2200 FPS. It is a non-NFA item only because the ATF gave it a sporting exemption as a joke as if anybody is going to hunt with this. This round would be overkill for hunting blue whales.

I would like to paint a picture for you. It’s 2AM and you hear a window break in your living room. This is the worst day this could happen, as every single one of your guns was lost in a tragic boating accident this morning. All were lost except for one. You look across your room in dread at your anti-kaiju rifle. You know what you have to do, but you don’t know if you have the strength to do it, both literally and figuratively.

Heaving the rifle into your arms, you load a .950 cartridge and begin to waddle towards the door.

Your feet make a loud “thud” as vou take each 6" step. You know the intruders hear you. You hope they do, for perhaps they will run and spare the world the suffering that is about to befall it.

You try to set the rifle down, but end up clipping your bedroom door and it is immediately knocked off its hinges by this battering ram in your hands. You attempt to round the corner, bonking the muzzle against the doorframe and adjacent wall across the hall at least 4 times. To your horror, two invaders stand there at the end of the hall.

With a heavy heart, you raise the rifle to your shoulder while making inhuman grunting noises from the strain of attempting some semblance of a shooting position. The burglars simply stare in disbelief, unable to process the situation they are witnessing, as if in a dream.

You cannot aim the rifle, as the last time you fired the gun, it turned your $3000 Leopuld into a kaleidoscope. You simply hold it at an angle that appears correct and fire.

You are immediately knocked to the floor as if hit by a semi truck going 20 MPH. The shot connected with one of the criminals and it erased him from existence. Even the memories of him have been destroyed and you’re wondering why you just shot into an empty hallway. The shot continues to travel through at least 4 houses, a car, and a 10 ton boulder before lodging itself 20 feet into a nearby hill, never to be seen again.

It is at this point, you realize you cannot hear.

The surviving burglar can’t hear either but he’s also on fire from the muzzle blast and is currently vacating your home. You don’t care.

Your shoulder is dislocated and there is a hole in your brand new AR500 refrigerator. You’re crying now. The police arrive and, upon seeing the scene, start laughing. You start crying harder.

(via harlequin-wheels)

raziraphale:

ok being nosy for a second so apologies if this question ages you: have you, personally, ever user a floppy disk before?

Yes, I have used a floppy disk before

No, I haven’t used a floppy disk before

Unsure/See Results

Tag your age if you wanna bc I was just thinking about how I have used floppy disks before (I’m 25 and used them in elementary computer lab) but my 22 y.o. brother hasn’t which is so weird to me like 3 years isn’t a long time at all to me

(via turbro)

spiribia:

the game’s commentary is so profound

(via kuueater)